Breathe

Anger haunted me,

like a late night rerun. 

My Mother  was angry,

my Father was angry. 

I was angry. 

Cursed,

with a short fuse.

My sharp,heartless words are 

like a permanent marker,

on a brand new whiteboard. 

I'd explode and then regret. 

I'd explode and then forget. 

Angry at myself and embarrassed,

I would cool down 

but the damage was done.  

Unerasable proof,

of my uncontrollable outrage,

in the eyes before me. 

Like a stain on my favourite shirt,

or a damaged friendship,

a crippled relationship.

Trust broken,

unforgiving, unforgiven. 

I've passed it on. 

I can see it in their eyes,

in their actions 

in their judgements. 

Everything  I haven't handled well,

I can see it in their eyes...

and it hurts. 

I can't take it back

but I can let it go.

I can forgive myself. 

I can repent 

and transform.
Confess 
and move on. 

Now with this new breath. 

I can breathe in the joy, 

that's in 

and around me. 

I can breathe out the guilt,

that's been trying,

to drown me. 

I can breathe out the judgement 

that puts down and damns. 

And I can breathe in this love, 

that accepts all,

that I am.